Ryuujin High
by Kurosawa-san
Summary: Goku is forced to go to school, where he will go through the life of a normal teenage and such aka my attempt at humor.
1. Welcome Son Goku

Ryuujin High

"So, you would like to attend this school?"

"Ah, I guess so."

"First you have to answer some questions." The principal, Mr. Masaki, took out a clipboard and a ballpoint pen. "Let's start shall we? Okay, your name?"

"Son Goku."

"Birthday?"

"April 5th."

"Gender?"

"Dude, I'm a guy."

"Age?"

"18."

He looked up. "18?"

"Is there a problem?" A young man with blonde hair and intense violet eyes asked. Mr. Masaki mentally shivered under the man's glare. "N-no problem."

"Good."

"Welcome, Son Goku to Ryuujin High."

* * *

Flashback

"Ne, Sanzo why do I have to go to school any way?"

"It's 'cause you're a stupid monkey."

"Shut up, you pervy water sprite. I was asking Sanzo."

"Doesn't matter, you're still a stupid monkey."

"Don't call me a monkey!"

"Shut up!" The two demons cowered in the corner for fear of Sanzo's almighty weapons. Sanzo returned to the article he was reading in the newspaper.

"Goku, you should see this as an opportunity to get the education you missed out on when you were imprisoned." Said a smiling Hakkai setting the table.

"But-"

"Listen, you are going to go to school tomorrow. Whether you like or not."

"Whatever." Goku sat down and happily began eating.

"Oi, stupid monkey, that was mine!"

"Nope. You said that it belongs to everyone on the table."

"Fine, then this is mine." Gojyo reached over the table and took a piece of meat from Goku's plate.

"You damn water sprite; I was saving that for later!"

"But it wasn't in your mouth, so it's fair game."

"That's it!" In a split second, Goku was pinning Gojyo to the floor.

"Now, now calm down or you'll get us evicted. Goku there is still some chicken left over.

"It won't replace the one Gojyo stole!"

"You started it you, monkey!"

The two men began wrestling and shouting profanities, while our favorite priest sat reloading his Sam and Wesson.

"Shut up, you noisy bastards!" Sanzo shot at the fighting duo. They stopped immediately. "Goku go to bed."

"But Sanzo-" He ducked as a bullet whizzed pass his ear.

"Now." Goku untangled himself from Gojyo and ran to his room.

"Good now I can eat in peace; Now that the monkey's not here with his bottomless pit of a stomach." Gojyo said lighting a cigarette. As soon as it was lit, and shoe hit him in the face.

"I'm not a monkey!" Yelled Goku as he ran back into his room.


	2. The Next Morn

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki.

* * *

Chapter 2 The Next Morn

Gojyo walked into Goku's room, standing beside the sleeping monkey. Drool leaked out of his mouth and Gojyo made a face of disgust.

"Hey Goku wake up." He nudged him slighty. Goku continued to sleep. Gojyo nudged him again but this time Goku caught his hand. "What the hell?" The red headed kappa tried to pull back. Goku's grip tightened and lowered Gojyo's hand to his mouth.

"My sweet little dumpling." Gojyo raised an eyebrow at this before remembering that the monkey was trying to devour his hand. With his other hand, Gojyo began to hit Goku repeatedly on the head. Goku responsed by bitting hard on Gojyo's hand. Gojyo's face had on an expression of extreme pain. With his free hand and both of his legs he still couldn't get Goku to release his hand. "Goddammit! Hakkai, Sanzo, anybody! Get this fucking monkey off me!" Hakkai and Sanzo appeared at the door. They glanced at Goku and Gojyo.

"Your only job was to wake the damn monkey. How hard is that?"

"You corrupt monk you try having your hand eaten by this glutton!" Hakkai smiled nervously.

"Gojyo, I think one of your fingers are gone." He sweatdropped. Gojyo began to flex his fingers and didn't feel his right pinky. He lifted the oblivious Goku over his head and started spinning him. The monk sighed.

"Just leave them Hakkai." Hakkai shrugged and followed Sanzo to the kitchen.

Half hour later

Goku opened his heavy eye lids and yawned. He had the weirdest dream. In it the dumpling he was about to eat was yelling at him. It sounded strangely like Gojyo. Then all of a sudden a hord of dumplings surrounded him. All were pink and had cockaroach antennas. They chased Goku around until he caught one in his mouth. It was huge! Then there was a pain in his head. He turned around and saw a dumpling holding a frying pan before he passed out. When he awoke his world was swimming. A bright light dominated most of it. He looked around and saw vague figures in the shadows. When they stepped into the light, Goku saw that they were dumplings. Again pink with the antennas. They had forks and knives. One was even pouring salt on him. He screamed as they got closer. 'Thank God it was only a dream.' He sighed. He walked into the kitchen and saw Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo sitting at the table. He took his regular seat between the monk and the kappa. "Gojyo what to your hand?" Gojyo's hand was wrapped in bandages. Gojyo sneered at him.

"Don't try to act innocent, you idiot."

"What are you talking about?" Gojyo stood up so suddenly that his chair hit the linolium floor.

"Don't start with that bull. You know damn right what I'm talking about." Goku opened his mouth to retort, when Hakkai stepped in.

"Goku, you better hurry up and get ready. School starts in 15 minutes." The youngest member of the group just stared at the healer.

"So?"

"So you better get your little monkey ass moving."

"Why don't you shut your perverted mouth with cucumbers!"

"Shut up and get ready before you begin to really get on my nerves!" Goku yelped at the threat and ran to his room. Five seconds later, Goku was ready. He ran out the door and slammed it hard enough to leave a crack in the wall.

"Umm, does he even know where the school is?"

"Who cares?" Goyjo answered lighting his cigarette.

* * *

I apologize for two things. One being that I took sooooooo long to update. Two being that it's crap. Yeah, sorry. I won't make anyexcuses for those two reasons. Review if wanna, I care for them yes, but alas... 


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